#96 Part 2: Entering the Forest
What if the part of you that checks out, goes quiet, or keeps you on high alert… isn’t broken, just protecting you? In this episode, Lori and psychotherapist Tammy Valicenti explore the forest: that inner place we retreat to when life has been too much. Together they name what protection can look like (silence, numbness, hyper-vigilance, control), how shame hijacks our inner dialogue, and why the simplest intervention can be the most powerful: “Hello, I hear you.” You’ll leave with a gentler map back to yourself, one that doesn’t require force, only curiosity.
Show Notes
Episode Summary
Part 2 continues Lori’s “forest” series with psychotherapist Tammy Valicenti. Together they explore what the forest represents, how to recognize when you’re living inside it, and why the parts of you that ran, hid, dissociated, or controlled were not failures they were survival. This episode offers a practical and deeply compassionate approach to shame, negative self-talk, and beginning the return to agency, dignity, and belonging.
In This Episode, We Explore
What the “forest” is, and how to know you’re in it
Why the forest can feel safer than connection or vulnerability
Trauma as “division”: how parts split off to protect joy, play, and creativity
Reframing “self-sabotage” as intelligent protection
Hypervigilance and the learned belief: “nothing is safe”
The role of control: choosing who gets access to you (and why that makes sense)
Shame vs guilt: shame = “I am bad”
The impact of not being believed, and why secrecy deepens the forest
A powerful intervention for inner dialogue: “Hello, I hear you.”
Why distraction (dinner, walking away, checking out) is normal, and how to titrate safely.
Reclaiming dignity after it was stripped away
The shift from belief to deep knowing
The metaphor of the mustard seed: moving mountains by turning inward
The key insight: the opportunity is in the burden
Key Quotes / Moments
“The forest is safety… because it’s where I learned to live.”
“Applaud yourself for running.”
“Hello, I hear you.”
“The way out is through.”
“If something is lost, it can be found.”
“The opportunity is in the burden.”
“The disconnection is the burden. Reconnection is the healing.”
Listener Reflection Questions
What does your forest look like, and what does it protect you from?
When your inner voice says “I’m not enough,” can you try: “Hello, I hear you”?
Where do you feel shame in your body right now?
What would reclaiming dignity look like in one small action today?
Gentle Practice Mentioned
Notice the shame/inner dialogue without arguing with it
Say: “Hello, I hear you.”
Ask: Where do I feel this in my body?
If you need to walk away, do it then come back when ready (titration)
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